Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Snakes, Heatwave, phoenix

Saturday, 2 September 2017

image for Phoenix, Arizona, is so hot even rattlesnakes need airco!
A rare and expensive commodity in blistering Phoenix!

A heatwave hitting Phoenix, Arizona is causing several problems and not only to humans!

Jaggedone and his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army; very appropriate here), is on a chilling-down trip escaping from Brexit lunacy in the US. As soon as he landed on a melting tarmac at Phoenix International airport, he discovered even more madness whilst observing a pigeon-less sky because it is so hot they have been forbidden to fly.

After enquiring into the heat, famous ex-sports presenter, and top author, Anne Montgomery, a local VIP who hides from the paparazzi in her abandoned pickup truck, told Jaggedone about surviving in the Arizona heat, and here are some tips and advice:

"Jaggedone, man, the world has gone completely nuts and Phoenix is driving us all crazy! The only way to survive is to rent a cave, but they're all filled up with illegals, and my f'ing pickup truck has no airco!"

"Down in Houston there is water, water and more water, and here we only have Mad Dogs and an Englishman, who just arrived, and desires to go hiking in the desert, with a glass of Perrier, bowler hat and plus fours! Mad mother F'er!"

A local Phoenix radio station has warned people to stay indoors during the heatwave but, if anybody dares wander outside and is confronted with dehydrating rattlesnakes; please pick them up and put them inside your pickup truck, but only if the airco works! Otherwise you'll be banged up in the blistering, infamous, Joe Arpaio's outdoor Tent City, Phoenix slammer, for cruelty to animals with the rest of illegals caught stealing their water!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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