Written by Orvis Talbot
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Wednesday, 30 August 2017

image for Cruise ship stuck in Gulf due to Hurricane Harvey, passengers in living hell
Cruise ship

Mrs. Jane Sunderland is on-board a cruise ship in the middle of the Gulf, unable to dock due to the stalled Hurricane Harvey.

The luxury liner left last Sunday, August 20th and was due to return to Houston on the 27th.

"We are living in absolute hell right now." stated Mrs. Sunderland. "They have run out of lobster roll and escargot." She continued, "By God I paid for a large balcony suite on the Empress deck and we've been forced to resort to eating sushi. The room stewards have been directed to stop making towel animals. This is ridiculous! I will no longer support this cruise line unless something is done!"

The cruise line has since apologized. They released the following statement: "We are doing our best to maintain our standards. There were many passengers that complained of us running out of lobster roll so, we have asked our available crew to drop 3000 lobster pots into the Gulf and they are actively catching lobsters. Until we can get back under way, these crew have been advised to cease towel animal production. We will be crediting every passenger the value of one lobster to their onboard credit account."

The cruise line expects to be able to dock by the weekend.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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