BERKELEY, CA. A short-lived, nationwide boycott of Walgreens drugstores ended abruptly today when a spokeswoman for the Alt-Left unexpectedly entered the local Walgreens and publicly apologized to a flabbergasted manager.
The embargo, spotty at best, began last week in Berkeley and spread sporadically across the country, taking place mostly in university towns. A counter movement, led by campus fraternity and sorority members, reportedly offset any loses caused by the leftist students refusal to patronize Walgreens. The company's corporate office claimed in a statement released yesterday that sales were in fact higher since the boycott began, "due to spending by the well- heeled frat crowd. The lefties never bought much here anyway."
"It was all a misunderstanding," said the Alt-Left's Clara, who refused to reveal her surname. "Someone suggested that as long as we are blacklisting Walmart, shouldn't we also stop shopping at Walgreens? The Walton's use heir profits to promote causes we oppose, so does it matter whether they get that loot from their Walmarts or the Walgreens chain? The Alt-Left executive board immediately accepted that idea and called for the boycott."
So why was the buyers' strike called off? Clara, with a hangdog expression, explained. "We thought the Wal in Walgreens stood for Walton. Then someone else looked it up on the Internet and found that the drugstore chain was founded by a Mr. Walgreen."
As of noon, the pickets were no longer marching in front of Walgreens anywhere.
Ralph E. Shaffer is professor emeritus of history at Cal Poly Pomona.