The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences has announced a new Nobel Prize category in recognition of the diplomatic work US president Donald Trump has done since taking up the top job. Speaking on the steps of the Nobel Institute in central Stockholm, spokesman Lars-Sven Sven-Lars-Eriksson-Vikening made the announcement.
"Yahhh, laa-di-daa-di-daa, we are delighted to announce that Mister Donald Trump, lately President of the United States, has impressed the panel of judges with his diplomatic efforts in 2017, laa-di-daa-di-daa. No one person has done more than Mr Trump to generate communications between nations, laa-di-daa-di-daa. For this reason we have decided to create and award the Nobel prize for Repetitive Antagonism to him, laa-di-daa-di-daa".
Explaining further, Sven-Lars-Eriksson-Vikening said "Mister Trump is a shining example to all people who enjoy confusing and annoying everyone else, laa-di-daa-di-daa. There are many important examples, laa-di-daa-di-daa. We were particularly impressed with his discussions with the Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto, laa-di-daa-di-daa. Mr Trump got in first with a commanding introductory greeting of "I'm Donald Trump, and you're not, you Wetback, Greaseball, Tacohead. You're gonna pay for that fuckin' wall we need to keep your dirty, moustached criminals out of our great country, our great country, yeah". "That generated more US-Mexican diplomatic discussions than in the entire previous 150 years, laa-di-daa-di-daa", Lars-Eriksson-Vikening commented, with a resounding winning Trump argument of "Was I wrong, was I wrong? I don't think so, I don't think so".
Even more impressive, Lars-Eriksson-Vikening says, was Mr Trump's tweets to Kim Jong Un, the North Korean leader. Ranging from "I'm gonna fry your fat, white Asian ass, fat white Asian Ass", to "Dog is my favourite dish, especially Pyongyang Shitzu, especially that Shitzu, yeah. And I like your hair style Dear Leader.", through to "Fuck your father, and your mother, fuck your twenty million strong half-starved army and your arsenal of nuclear ballistic missiles, and, most of all, fuck you Kimbo, you suck more than the Mexicans and twice as much as the muslims.".
"Yahhh, laa-di-daa-di-daa, all these messages show what an excellent communicator Mr Trump is, a real gift to the world stage, and is the deserving winner of the inaugural Nobel Prize for Repetitive Antagonism, laa-di-daa-di-daa".
President Trump tweeted his appreciation for his award today: "Thank you very much to the great nation of Sweden, very great nation, very good friends of ours, Melania and I are fitting out the Whitehouse with IKEA furniture, we love it".