Written by queen mudder

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Topics: Washington, Crack

Sunday, 17 December 2006

image for Walter Mitty Romney outed
Romney was once a Regean-era escapologist

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Massachusetts resident and Non-Aligned Illuminatus Walter Mitty Romney has been outed as a serial fantasist whose previous incarnation as a Reagan-era escapologist was discovered after recovered memories of crack-dealing days - from way back when it was called freebase - were dug up from the back yard of the US Ambassador's residence in Regent's Park, North London.

So lurid were the details of Ronnie Raygun's sponsorship of this budding TheoCon's career that worried Bush1 Administration officials rapidly erected a helipad over the offending remains lying ten metres beneath the lush and verdant slopes of the residency garden, where Nancy Reagan once had an unexpected out-of-body experience akin to pre-Latter Day pantyliner syndrome.

As Mitty launches his ambitious 2008 bid to be the first Non-Aligned Illuminatus to win the White House worried Thatcher-era ex-spooks in London are desperately hurrying planning permission for the helipad to be concreted over and an essential in-house pet mausoleum to be erected catering for any domestic mishaps that might befall diplomatic pooches such as the current incumbent's shitzu-lapdog.

Mitty has yet to comment on these developments despite feverish recent news that he was being lined up as an imminent replacement for Vice President Dick Cheney.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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