Written by susan allen-rosario
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Topics: Old People, salad

Sunday, 6 August 2017

Medical examiners in a small town just outside of Boston proper are at a loss as to how this family reunion could have turned so deadly. Police haven't seen anything this bad since pop-star, "Po-dicky," posioned his clan with unrefrigerated condiments in 1978. Ten people died in that incident.

"He claimed that it was something in the hot dogs and later sued the meat packing company for millions. But this has all the ear marks of a very well planned yet poorly executed murder plot."

The two surviving sisters aren't talking. They told reporters they are pleading the "First." (Free speech, expression, what???)

The word on the street is that relatives were told to bring their favorite salad to the party. Little did the sisters know that EVERYONES favorite dish was "grandma's" famous three bean.

One cousin stated on his death bed that he considered egg salad as a viable alternative to the three bean but his "fucking chickens" were hiding their eggs again.

The family is well known in the community for its devotion to the "arts." Neighbors say they are not surprised by the turn of events.

"Those psycho sisters are probably going to claim that it is some kind of creative expression to murder with common food products. You can bet, they worked the entire event out in their daily planners. You just wait and see."

So far no one is willing to "spill the beans."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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