Written by Butch
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Topics: Potato, Snakes

Wednesday, 2 August 2017

image for Potatoes Bad, Snakes Good!
Don't eat spudsssssssssssss!

Rodrigo Franco was arrested in July 2017 in Los Angeles for smuggling reptiles into the United States. He was importing crocodiles, turtles, and snakes all of which are protected under U.S. law. The craziest is how this guy managed to ship the king cobras.

Customs officers found these highly venomous snakes in potato chip canisters. One officer was hungry and attempted to each some of the potatoes. When it hissed at at him, he knew they must be beyond their expiration date. He opened it up and there ya go --- snakes! Indiana Jone's favorite. If convicted Rodrigo could serve up to 20 years for animal smuggling.

Now, I would argue that these canisters holding the king cobras are safer than if they were full of potato chips. Statistically, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, only 5 people per year die from poisonous snake bites in Australia, Europe, or the U.S. This is good since new research shows a positive correlation between eating fried potatoes and higher mortality rates.

So, according to the research put down the fried potatoes and pick up the poisonous snakes. You'll thank yourself in the long-run. I have friends who swapped spuds for snakes and they are living much healthier life-styles.

Now, a sentence no one has ever written before: There goes the swaberblin' maverin' things she tribakalima in Detroit!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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