The terrorists are finally figuring out that bombs and head chopping is small time terrorism. Inspired by his holy, most magnificent, eminence el Presidente they are going to get jobs in the Whitehouse to advance their nefarious plans for US destruction.
Islamic Terrorists around the world are depressed, they haven't got any got press coverage since 911 and are falling behind in their Whos Who of World Terrorists. "We have slowly been slipping in the death and destruction index which has caused great embarrassment within the group", Islamic Terrorist of the World Unite Strategic Management Group™ spokesman stated.
Many are now convinced that clandestine military operations are old school. The group put out an internal directive that given the incredible success his holy, most magnificent, eminence el Presidente has had in taking down US democracy they are going to change tactics and join the Republican Party.
When asked if this was not giving in to evil they replied that it was merely a matter of efficiency. "We have been inspired by what Trump.com™ has achieved in such a short time and have concluded that his path to world domination and destruction is far superior to ours. Of course we want to be on the winning team and the current Republican Party are just so far ahead of all the other Terrorist organizations that they have really set the benchmark for best practice", stated the Islamic Terrorist of the World United Strategic Management Group™ spokesman.
Commentators immediately pointed out that with so many Russians in the Whitehouse that the Islamist may struggle to get some elbow room. "We are very confident of getting a role there as we bring a lot Islamic Terrorist tactics that Trump.com™ really likes, like chaos, gross brutality, insulting infidels, trashing the rule of law and pissing on beds", bragged the Islamic Terrorist of the World Unite Strategic Management Group™ spokesman and "further our secret mind meld Orb has already implanted camouflage into Trump.com™ tiny mind and because of the Orb Brain Wave Interference Technology we will be indistinguishable from the rest of the Republican Party".