Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 25 July 2017

image for NY squirrel is a Terminator!
NY Mayor convinced this evil little bugger possessed a terrorist NY squirrel!

Arnold Schwarzenegger would be proud of a squirrel terrorising tourists in New York as they step off the ferry boats after visiting the Statue of Liberty!

The squirrel perches on branches waiting to pounce on any Japanese nutter who dares offer other squirrels nuts. It leaps onto their hands, gives them a nasty bite, and runs off with the booty.

NY Police offices summoned to the scene have attempted to catch the crafty bugger, but he remained elusive, and there is a plethora of hungry squirrels in the area, and Japanese tourists; so it was quite impossible to grab his nuts!

Passing, paranoid NY joggers are frightened the terrorist squirrel could turn its attention to them because they fear it could have rabies so an expert from the local zoo has been sent in to catch the thing.

It was last seen frothing at the mouth high in a tree, but that was only because it nicked a Japanese tourist's ice cream topped with whipped cream!

A rat expert flown in from India has located the thing, then he whispered to it, and persuaded to give itself up after hearing the Indian rat expert would take it back to India to become a High Priest in the infamous rat infested, Karni Mata Temple.

The NY mayor is happy now it is on its way to India to live a spiritual, peaceful life, but is still convinced it was possessed by an evil spirit that flew after hitting the Twin Towers in a plane...

However, we will leave conspiracy theories for what they are, conspiracies; and concentrate only on the truth!

BTW, a question; why do squirrels swim on their backs?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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