WASHINGTON, D. C.--President Donald Trump, who had formerly called his Press Secretary and Deputy Press Secretary "too fat and ugly" to appear on camera, has tweeted that both Sean Spicer and Sarah Huckabee Sanders will again, after the duo's extreme makeovers, be holding press briefings on camera and with sound.
Spicer, looking much trimmer and having had his ears enlarged, and Sanders, who is said to have shed twenty pounds but is still recovering from her latest chin tuck, will both appear together at a press conference next week to show off their new look. Tweeted President Trump: "Am looking forward too the much improved apearance of my communicitions staff. Both them are looking great--less fat and not so ugly! So glad!" Also, the White House sent out a press briefing today announcing that Sean Spicer will no longer sound like an angry pissy twerp, after having received help from a speech coach this summer. As for Sarah Huckabee Sanders, she will continue to deflect and lie through her newly whitened teeth, but do so, in the words of CNN's Media Correspondent Brian Stelter, "much more prettily."
Sources report that President Trump himself is also going through an extreme makeover, as he works with his fourth grade English teacher, Ms. Dresser, to improve his spelling and grammar.