Written by Purple Girl
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Saturday, 29 July 2017

image for Man sues to have gender on driver's license listed as Potato
A man is suing to have his gender listed as 'Potato' on his driving license.

A man is suing his local office of the Department of Motor Vehicles to have his gender listed as 'Potato' on his driver's license.

Keith Spudd spent thousands of dollars having his skin tattooed the color and shading of a potato. In addition, he had prosthetic "potato eyes" sewed to his skin all over his body.

According to Spudd, "I was a potato trapped in a human body, and now I feel more comfortable in my own skin. I'm just upset that the state refuses to accept that I'm a potato. I'm not a boy potato nor a girl potato, just a potato. Don't they have eyes?"

David Smith of the local DMV says, "This is highly irregular, and even if we wanted to help, our hands are tied. He wasn't born a potato and that is not one of the options we have available for gender. We cannot comment further as this is still an ongoing matter."

Others with nontraditional gender roles are applauding Spudd's decision to sue. Keisha Jones says that she is really a helicopter trapped in a human body. "I felt this way since I was little," says Jones. "My mother couldn't understand and would smack me for making helicopter sounds, so I know what Keith Spudd is going through."

Mental health professionals are left shaking their heads. Dr. Peter Brooks, a local psychiatrist, says, "We are seeing a lot of patients these days who claim to be anime characters, household objects, animals, and in this case, a potato. The reasons as for why they have such nonstandard identities varies from person to person. Some didn't feel loved as children, and some develop such identities from their fantasies over time. There's debate on how to treat such cases. Often, there's little harm letting them live their days in their adopted role, but not everyone understands."

A district court judge will be hearing Spudd's complaint next month.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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