Written by Aspartame Boy
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Topics: Poo, Chris Christie

Wednesday, 5 July 2017

image for Governor of New Jersey took a crap on the beech
File photo. The governor's crap was not accessible due to the government shutdown.

The Beech, New Jersey - Governor Christie spent the 4th on a beech from which he had removed all citizens, even those that had homes on the beech. This assured he and his family of complete privacy.

According to an anonymous family member, our source, the Governor ate an enormous number of hot dogs and a lot of aspartame, prompting him to declare a state of emergency. He was watching a hot dog eating contest on television which may have prompted him to overeat.

The Governor was able to remove his pants just in time to crap on the sandy beech. After wiping with seaweed, he and his family retreated to his beech mansion.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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