Written by Mike Peril
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Monday, 3 July 2017

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The residents of an island in the Pacific secretly celebrated American style Independence Day this July 4th. The celebration included town sponsored fireworks displays and family outings. Many residents ate hamburgers and hot dogs.

Residents had the day off, which gave everyone plenty of time to celebrate.

Face painting and local farmers' markets were popular. Residents waved US flags during parades as they celebrated their veterans, local business, scout troups, fire departments and other societies and organizations.

"It was surreal. It felt so American to participate in this," said one local resident who asked not to be named for fear of retribution from the island's national government. The residents had recently suffered criticism by its government, which implied that it was not part of the national union and that the residents and its judges behaved too American.

"Many of us actually prefer to pay our taxes to the United States," sated a town mayor who also asked not to be named for fear of being added to a list. Many individuals have been personally attacked on Twitter by their national President.

"We've never had this before," continued the mayor, "but woman, immigrants, Muslims, and the press are all concerned with our current national government and its hostile acts. Everything changed so fast with the new President. An entire political party condones his behavior. Our reporters are scared to file reports under their names for fear of physical attacks from members in the conservative wing, or being blackballed and ridiculed by the President himself. We feel like Americans and we want to be a part of America and everything it stands for."

When asked which Pacific island participated in the celebration, residents hoped the name of the island wouldn't get out. "We need to lay low. Why ask to get verbally attacked yet again?"

Another resident simply whispered, "Aloha."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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