Written by Stefano M. Stefano
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Tuesday, 13 June 2017

At a Trump rally attended by the hordes of hillbillies, rednecks, and cracker-heads that constitute President Trump's base, the Commander-In-Chief released his newest plan to build the infamous border wall between the U.S. and Mexico.

"I was watching a very funny TV show last night," Trump told his all-white fans, "and it was all about these terrible tornadoes hitting the American Middle East and Mid-West."

Gesticulating weirdly, like a Gerry Anderson puppet on 'Thunderbirds', Trump continued, "It was a tremendous program, one that was on all of the Fake News Networks, about the Fake Mid-West, with lots of neat special effects showing those funny tornadoes. My compliments to George Lucas and the boys at Industrial Light and Magic, by the way. It had to be fake, because all of the Fake News Networks were broadcasting these Fake Tornadoes from fake live locations."

The shocked group listened with open mouths as Trump went on; "Anyways, long story short, I had a brilliant idea, my 1,340th of that day, by the way, and it came to me as I saw all the toy doors and walls flying through the air. I don't need to build a wall, and the government doesn't need to do it! You, the people, can do it yourselves! Here's how it works; all of you here at my rally will donate a wall from your own house! Whether it's thirty feet by twelve feet from your bungalow, twenty-two feet and nine feet from your townhouse, or whatever you want to donate from your duplex or apartment, it's doesn't matter! The sky's the limit!"

The stunned group of freaks next heard, "The government trucks will be by your homes and houses tomorrow to remove one wall from your homes, and then they'll be transported down to the border, and then glued together to build the biggest, most massive, most tremendously tremendous border wall...everrrrrr! You can thank me now, once you fill out these forms giving me a wall from your house!"

Trump stepped away from the podium, applauding himself, then ran back to it, to add, "Oh, and if you donate a wall with a window in it keep the glass intact, so those bad hombres in Mexico don't have access to our clean, American-made air!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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