Written by Purple Girl
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Tuesday, 13 June 2017

image for Two students suspended over using their initials on a group assignment
Two students claimed they were singled out and punished due to their initials.

Felicia Underwood and Cindy King were suspended from Squaresville High over placing their initials on their joint assignment. Underwood placed F. U. on the paper, followed by King placing C. K. on the paper. According to them, they gave it no thought. Underwood says, "Being modest, I asked Cindy to initial it first, and Cindy said I needed to learn to stand up and put myself first every once in a while."

Then their teacher saw the initials and assumed the worst. According to their science teacher, Jennifer French, "I don't know what got into my students, but them placing such vulgarity on their papers is just uncalled for."

King says, "I simply urged Felicia to be more assertive and not be afraid of putting herself out there, first. I never thought anything about the order of our initials getting us in trouble. We're just math and science geeks, admittedly, and we don't see sexual innuendos everywhere, since we care about so much more than that."

The principal, Matt Phillips, says, "This is a clear case of students passively-aggressively acting out against authority. We have to set the example and show that this type of nonsense is not tolerated, no matter how covertly it is displayed."

The parents have said a few things about this, though they have little to say to us under advice of their legal counsel. Camille King, Cindy's mother, says, "I just know my daughter. She is sweet, kind, and tends to put others first. She's had her share of ordeals and I know she will make it through this. Dan and I will be there for her, and that's all I'll say due to the advice of our attorney."

Mrs. Jessica Underwood says, "These girls meant nothing wrong. They simply initialed their papers like Ms. French asked. If there was any vulgar intentions, then it wasn't my daughter's doing. She is rather shy, unassertive, and somewhat overly trusting. But I have no evidence Cindy knowingly put her up to anything either."

Local activists are upset, claiming that the school has turned an innocent school assignment into an excuse to go on a witch hunt. Paul Jones of Let Kids Be Kids says, "This is just another attempt to criminalize childhood. So what if they used their initials to spell out a dirty word. They are kids!"

The school board has no comments as this is a pending matter. The students are likely to return to school by next week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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