Written by Danyal
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Monday, 5 June 2017

image for Unemployment Increases by 3.5 Million and What to do?
Recently unemployed holding back emotions.

This week, President Trump needs to deal with bigger issues than backing out of the Paris Climate Agreement. In early June, over 3.5 million Americans became unemployed. Sources say the government and the media are keeping this issue quiet because it affects the "millennials". The same event occurred last year yet it received no coverage. Presidents after presidents have ignored this issue irresponsibly for far too long. The people's voices need to be heard.

Quotes from the recently unemployed 18 year olds:

"My math teacher told me anything is possible except finding a job." - Tom

"I turned down admission to an ivy league school because my part-time salary at Macy's isn't enough to pay for it. My grandfather called me lazy." - Stephany

"I asked my dad for a job at our family restaurant. He asked me if I had any previous experience?" - Danielle

"I used to get denied jobs because I'm lazy and take too long to get my point across. I still get turned down for that same reason, but I used to as well." - John

"Everyone kept saying that I thought I was entitled to a job and now they won't give me one. I don't get it." - Troy

We approached a psychologist from University of Louisville, Dylan, regarding the mindset of the millennials and what should be done. "Well the world sees them as lazy and selfish. I say enjoy it till it ends!" As the number of unemployed goes up, jobs become harder to find. Our advice to all the 18 years old looking for work; who cares. Your family and everyone else already thinks you are lazy; take advantage of it and enjoy the ride. Let someone else worry about it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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