Written by Bala Thenappan
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Sunday, 7 May 2017

Michael Langley, a math teacher at Harrisburg High School, was reportedly unaware that puns aren't cool anymore.

Chris Jarvis, a 11th grade student who has been in Langley's class for three straight years, remarks: "Mr. Langley keeps repeating the same math puns over and over again. We now all know that '7 ate 9' and that 'circles are pointless'."

Mr. Langley reportedly injects puns into random sections of his lectures.

Steve Morris, another student of Langley's, explains "There are only a few teachers clever enough to incorporate original humor into lectures about linear equations....Mr. Langley is not one of them."

Eyewitness testimony reports that Langley also includes puns on his tests, hoping it will relax his students while they solve difficult problems under pressure.

However, Mary Morkins, another student, says "I hope Mr. Langley realizes those puns only make me more angry when I realize I can't remember the quadratic formula during a quiz."

Regardless of what his students say, Mr. Langley remains convinced that puns are a cornerstone of his unique teaching style.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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