Written by Chris Hanson
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Tuesday, 19 December 2006

image for Actor Richard Gere Reveals Death of Atticus Finch
Gere's maternal grandfather in happier times

LOS ANGELES -- Actor Richard Gere revealed in a letter published in today's Los Angeles Times that his pet finch, Atticus, had betrayed him and is "dead to me."

"My little bird went out last night and did not return until five a.m., accompanied by my gerbil, Ying-Yang" the actor wrote. "Ying-Yang is dead to me, too."

Gere, a prominent Democrat, wrote of President Bush, "He's dead to me."

Of his late maternal grandfather, Gere wrote, "He's dead."

As to President Ford, Gere said, "He is soon to be dead, but now he is merely dead to me."

Quoting Shakespeare, the Chinese consulate issued a statement offering Tibet independence advocate Gere a visa and free transport to "that undiscovered country from whose borne no traveler returns."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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