Written by Bala Thenappan
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Topics: Local, traffic

Wednesday, 3 May 2017

image for Man Convinced Traffic Lights Are Rigged

Determined to explain why he showed up late to work again, Larry Michaels, a department manager at Sears, convinced himself last Tuesday that traffic lights are rigged against him.

"I feel like the traffic lights are conspiring to slow me down. I wake up 10 to 15 minutes after my alarm sounds, take a 20 minute shower, stop by a couple stores to buy a donut, and then proceed to get stuck at every single red light.There's nothing I can do differently to show up to work on time." said Michaels.

Larry Michaels reports further evidence to support his theory. He explained ""It's weird because I feel like I only get stuck at red lights when I'm running late. So there's an obvious correlation."

Michaels was fired the day after he explained this theory to his boss.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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