Written by Amiko Aventurista
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Monday, 1 May 2017

image for Trump's Tax Returns Found in Uber Car--Investments Revealed
Shiv Aalok Finds Trumps Tax Returns

A sheepish White House finally revealed why President Trump has refused to release his tax returns. Apparently his tax returns were forgotten by his accountant in the trunk of an Uber vehicle in 2015. The White House has confirmed that the President's tax returns were found by the Uber driver after he decided the funky smell from his trunk was too much to take and to finally clean the trunk.

The driver, Shiv Aalook, works the Mar-A-Lago resort area. "Wow, now I know why my the trunk of my car was so nasty smelling." According to preliminary reports, the tax forms were accidentally left behind by President Trump's accountant, Howard Robert Block, when he visited Mar-A-Lago to secure the President signature on his 2015 returns.

Sean Spicer, President Trump's Minister of Truth, explained to the press, "Gosh, I did not know there was so much money to be made in those investments. After of these years of service, you would think he would kick me over a few Benjamins once in a while."

Confidential sources report that President Trump has made significant investments in high tech companies, including: www.Russian Cupid: A match making service for lonely men looking for young hot Russian and Eastern European women; and Systransoft: A software product that translates English into Russian;

The President also has lower tech investments including, New Sunshine, a maker of sun tanning products and tanning beds; and weight watchers.

Sources indicate it will take considerable time to analyze the returns, meaning the President's investment will be front and center during the upcoming tax policy debate.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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