Written by SeanFallon
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Thursday, 20 April 2017

A bipartisan group of American music analysts came together to compile a list of the top ten songs with political messages that will NOT be completely embraced by all people on either side of the political spectrum. Here is the list, counted down to the most politically neutral.

10. "Accidental Racist" by Brad Paisley and L.L. Cool J. Open minded people on either side of the political spectrum will embrace the truth of the feelings portrayed in this message. Hateful people on either side of the political spectrum will find this song offensive.

9. "You've Got Another King Comin'" by Apologetix While this parody of Judas Priest's "You've Got Another Thing Comin'" clearly extols Jesus above any Earthly leader, it fails to take a side on the political spectrum, during a time when the Democrat party is dead set against the spread of Christian influence in America. Democrats will take issue with the praising of Jesus, while Republicans will take issue with the fact that the song fails to address the fact that nowadays, in America, voting Democrat is voting against Jesus and His teachings, regardless of how "good" or "bad" the Republican candidate may be.

8. "Television, the Drug of the Nation" by Disposable Heroes of Hiphopcracy Republicans will like the way the song addresses the fact that television propaganda has corrupted children to think ignorantly, or even not to think. Yet, Democrats will like the fact that it is a rap song, it speaks ill of the military, and it seems to deny the FACT that socialism is un-American, three concepts that will be very off-putting to many Republicans. Independents will like the way it speaks out against "The perpetuation of the two party system."

7. "The Freshmen" by the Verve Pipe It talks about the emotional pain felt by people whose behavior provoked suicide or abortion, going as far as saying "I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins." Yet, that message is countered by "I won't be held responsible."

6. "Censor...." by the Ramones It is an overt attack on then prominent Democrat Al Gore's wife, Tipper Gore over her stand on censoring music, yet it also addresses "the environment" as being a more prevalent issue than whether children are exposed to appropriate messages in the media, a ranking of priorities that very few Republicans would agree with.

5. "Goodnight Saigon" by Billy Joel It promotes praying to Jesus, but it also promotes Playboy and passing the hash pipe.

4. "I Believe in Father Christmas" by Greg Lake Depending on one's choice of how to interpret the lyrics, this could either be very pro-Christianity or very anti-Christianity. Everyone can interpret it in the way they want. People can choose to feel either uplifted or offended by this song.

3. "I'd Love To Change The World" by Ten Years After While this song uses derogatory terms for members of the LGBTQ community, it also includes the line, "Tax the rich; feed the poor, 'til there are no rich no more." Then it shows a clear anti-war, anti-division message, addresses pollution and could arguably be referring to God on the line "...I don't know what to do, so I'll leave it up to You." This combination of themes certainly does not tow any one party line, leaving things very open to interpretation.

2. "Stuck In The Middle With You" by Stealers Wheel "I have clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right. Here I am, stuck in the middle with you."

1. "One In A Million" by Guns N' Roses This song speaks ill of immigrants, gay people, black people, radicals, racists, religion, Muslims (indirectly), and police. The song also alludes to drug abuse, blasphemes the Lord's Name, and uses the F. word. There is something to infuriate everyone of every political view here, done in a way that leaves very little open to interpretation. Arguably, this is the most universally offensive song ever written. Perhaps the far right and the far left can come together to agree about that.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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