Written by James Cavahl
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Monday, 17 April 2017

image for Maggie Gyllenhaal caught bitching about losing role to older woman after calling out Hollywood's discrimination against older women
A discriminating face.

Hollywood - Two years ago Maggie Gyllenhaal made headlines after being told that at 37 she was too old to play the love interest of a leading man in his fifties. Mature-aged actresses have long complained of ageism in an industry that consistently overlooks them in favor of beautiful young starlets. But now the 39-year-old former starlet who enjoyed years of starring in hit films has been caught badmouthing an older actress for landing a coveted role over her.

Gyllenhaal was having lunch with her agent in WeHo when she was secretly filmed bitching about 45-year-old Rosemarie DeWitt who, in a sign that things may be changing in Hollywood, is set to star with George Clooney in an upcoming blockbuster.

"I can't believe I lost out to that hag," whined Gyllenhaal. "I'm six years younger and way hotter. The producers are either blind or she's blowing them."

Her agent seemed taken aback.

"Well, I would've pushed harder for you," he said, "but I thought you wanted older women to start getting roles over younger more beautiful ones."

"Not when I'm the younger more beautiful one you fucking idiot!" screamed Gyllenhaal before throwing a glass at his head.

Within hours of this revelation, #maggiesahypocrite was the number one trending hashtag on Twitter. Gyllenhaal was not available for comment, though Hollywood is abuzz with rumors that she's looking for a hitman to take out the little bastard that sold their cell-phone footage to the media.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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