Written by Catchthisdrift
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Monday, 13 March 2017

image for American Plans First Vacation to Europe: Wonders if it will be a letdown like Mount Rushmore.
Queen Elizabeith: "I'm looking forward to meeting Ms. Barnett from America."

West Bend, IN, U.S. (Reuters) Michael Barnett, an electrical engineer from West Bend, Indiana, and his wife, Christy, have planned a vacation to Europe after 22 years of marriage. Christy Barnett posted to her Facebook page a video of her reaction when they finally booked their flights. The video quickly went viral and has over 107 views on YouTube.

During an interview about the video and their impending trip, Ms. Barnett continued her state of giddiness and anticipation. Mr. Barnett, however, is obviously less enthusiastic about the trip.

Said Michael Barnett, "I don't know. I'm just wondering if the whole thing is going to be a big letdown. Everyone talks about how 'Oh, I went to Europe, I saw a lot European things.' Christy has been wanting to go since we first got married. So I'm fine with going. I'm just wondering about how much of it is hype."

Barnett went on to explain that his pessimism is rooted in a childhood visit to Mount Rushmore National Park, in Keystone, SD. "I expected this huge gigantic intimidating group of faces, but it wasn't that impressive. It didn't seem that big to me. What a bummer. Whole vacation sucked after that."

He continued, "Like in London, and those buses, are they really that tall, or does it just look that way in pictures? Are they even red? Or is that a Photoshop trick? And that clock tower. Sure, it looks tall if you take the picture from the right angle, but that thing may only be like 30 feet high. Don't even get me started on the Eiffel Tower. I don't trust the French, too snooty for my taste. And their food portions are small. Plus, I saw an Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas. Not that impressed. Of course, I was totally shit-faced drunk and down two grand. But still, not that impressive."

Upon hearing Mr. Barnett convey his concerns, Christy Barnett yelled from the other room, "Shut the fuck up, Mike, don't you dare ruin this for me. I'm going to meet the Queen, I'm going to eat raw snails, and I'm going to drink beer out of a big-ass mug. So just shut up."

Michael Barnett responded, "They make pudding out of blood. Who the hell does that? Haven't they heard of chocolate before? They have, you know they have, they just use blood and feed it to Americans because they're still pissed about our revolution. Damn Brits. But I do love Monty Python."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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