Written by XRhonda Speaks
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Monday, 30 January 2017

image for Newt Gingrich Pushes Tax On Mexican Americans To Pay For Wall
Newt Gingrich speaks to Hispanics on behalf of President Trump.

Politically revived from the dead and reinvigorated by team Trump, Newt Gingrich told Fox News' Bill O'Reilly that if Mexico won't pay for the president's border wall, Mexican Americans should pick up the tab.

"The president has said you'll pay a wall tax if you are Mexican or of Mexican heritage, it would be part of the income tax. But many of these criminals will still shirk their responsibilities for what their country is doing because they don't all pay or even file income taxes. I think a tax on Mexican food would be a fairer way since Mexicans all have to eat."

"OK, Mr. Speaker - Mr. Gingrich," O'Reilly asked, "What about me and other people who just like Mexican food but aren't Mexican? We're still paying the tax."

"Well during World War Two," Gingrich responded, "people were not so enamored with German beers as they are now because we were at war with them. This president is making it clear that we are at war with Mexico, not militarily--at least not yet--but culturally and economically at war, so, no, we shouldn't be supporting a country that has outsmarted us in immigration and trade by celebrating their cuisine. Maybe we don't ban it, but if we at least put a tax on Mexican food, that would pay for the wall in just a few years."

Stocks of YUM!, parent company of Taco Bell, fell on the news of a potential tax on Mexican restaurants.

Initial reports are that Taco Bell executives are fleeing for Canada and Mexico and are planning a fresh start there as well an expansion in the number of Taco Bells in those two countries.

When this reporter called Taco Bell corporate offices for comment only a recorded message was available, a musical snippet with the lyrics "run for the border" played over and over without taking a message.

Meanwhile independent owners of Mexican style restaurants are gearing up for a battle, and the ACLU is preparing to sue if any kind of "Mexican Tax" is imposed on citizens or businesses.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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