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Topics: Donald Trump, Stupid

Saturday, 21 January 2017

image for Trump supporters agree with him that he is the best President ever
A typical Trump voter

President Donald Trump has often pronounced that he will be the greatest ruler who ever lived. Now, barely twenty four hours into the job, most of his fans agreed. Some of them held a party in downtown Washington with a huge banner that read "Mission accomplished".

TheSpoof asked them why they thought Trump was so great, when he hadn't done anything yet as President.

"He's already changed everything," gasped one breathless obese fan. "Just by becoming President, he's made America great again."

Others agreed. One elephantine supporter sweated heavily, "I can't believe it. It's like the rapture. The world is all fixed now."

Professor of psychology Donald Rump of the University of New Essex was not surprised. He believes that such mass hysteria as that found among Trump supporters is common among people of poor education when they are bombarded with positive messages. A related experiment was conducted on chimpanzees in the 1960s based on the idea of a banana Pope.

He explained further. "These people live in their bubble surrounded by other unemployed crackheads and they don't have much to look forward to. So when someone like Trump comes along claiming to stand up for them, they lap it up. They worship him because he has something they want - money - much like the Banana Pope, who had lots of bananas."

Rump was not positive about how things would turn out for the US in the next four years. He believes that Trump's aggressive protectionism and repellent personality will actually lose jobs, and he will slash funding that could help low-income families. He might even start a war. But Rump believe that next time the same voters will still be supporting Trump.

"Let's be honest. These people lost their jobs to Mexican robots. There is nowhere else for them to be except on welfare. Thanks to Trump, there won't be welfare any more. But he's an expert at shifting blame, and finding obscure statistics to support whatever nonsense he's peddling. In four years time, he's sure to dig up some poll that says that he is not the worst president ever, and he'll spin it to these idiots who will believe every word. Of course by then there will be no critical media left to report anything, except maybe TheSpoof. I doubt anyone will be reading it then either."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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