Written by pinkwalrus
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Sunday, 8 January 2017

image for Congress Designates Daily Presidential Twitter-Time
Suck on this, Mr. President

In an effort to assist business and world leaders in managing their commerce and diplomacy more effectively, Congress has passed a law effective for the course of the upcoming presidency. The law designates presidential tweets will be released once a day, at noon Eastern Standard Time.

Twitter has agreed to coordinate the back-end of the policy. President Trump's tweets will accumulate each day and be released all at once in a large batch.

Congress also allotted the incoming executive a special presidential stress-relief squeeze toy and a bowl of lollipops to help with the President's impatience while having to wait for replies.

The President Elect has not yet been informed of this law.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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