Written by Keith Shirey
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Saturday, 7 January 2017

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NEW YORK TIMES

by Strom Thurmond


Russia carried out a comprehensive cyber campaign to upset the U.S. presidential election, an effort that was ordered by Russian President Vladimir Putin who "aspired to help" elect Donald Trump by discrediting his Democratic rival, Hillary Clinton, U.S. intelligence agencies concluded in a report just released.

The intelligence report said the campaign to elect Trump was ordered by Putin himself who sought to elevate Trump by "discrediting Secretary Clinton and publicly contrasting her unfavorably to him."

Trump is repeatedly portrayed in the press as having a "bromance" with Putin. This seemed to be confirmed by a statement made by Mr. Trump when told of the intelligence report.

"My friend Vladimir would not interfere in the election in any way. You can feel his beautiful, hairy chest to know that the so-called intelligence is false," said the President-elect.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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