Written by Derrick Patenaude
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Topics: Gay, Homophobia, bigots

Tuesday, 3 January 2017

image for Homophobe Relieved To Find Lesbian Couple Actually Woman and Man With Cancer

27 year old homophobe Chris Terny was sitting in his favorite local restaurant last Tuesday when he witnessed what he believed to be a lesbian couple walk-in and sit next to him.

"I was disgusted, I mean, you see a lot of this stuff on T.V, but rarely do you see it in real life." Said Chris. "I almost asked to change tables, until I overheard them talking about how HE, thank God it was a HE, had cancer and was going to have to go through another round of chemotherapy. I felt a calm come over my body, and I was able to eat my lunch with piece of mind knowing that this wasn't some gay couple, but a woman and a man with cancer, like how God intended."

Chris finished his meal and left the restaurant in an optimistic mood until he spotted what he referred to as "a couple of fucking longhaired liberal freak shows in the parking lot." He then drove home shaking his head and mumbling about how this country is going to shit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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