Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Sex, Relationships

Thursday, 22 December 2016

image for Man with New Girl Friend Already Working on Next One
I'm so committed to you.

After mutually agreeing to have a committed relationship with his current girlfriend Sally Besman, Washington, DC man Eli Cummings has gone online to various dating websites in search of his next girlfriend.

Mr. Cummings present girlfriend is pretty and affectionate as well as being blessed with outstanding social graces. Her countenance makes any man swoon with desire. She also, has a good sized rack as well as a well, rounded ass.

She attentively listens to every single word in every conversation. These conversations mostly consist of the loss of his Darth Vader action figures which were destroyed when his previous house was engulfed by a fire caused by the time he tried to rid his house of a wasp nest with a blowtorch.

His current squeeze never gave him flack for the fact that he was 30 pounds overweight and swore like a sailor. She never complained about him scratching his crotch in front of her friends nor the fact that he would belch and fart uncontrollably. She really didn't have a problem with him "totally" ignoring her whenever she would bring up a problem she was dealing with. She even turned a blind eye on the fact that Mr. Cummings hasn't had a proper job going on 10 months now.

Mr. Cummings has come to the conclusion that every relationship comes to an end eventually so he has taken to online dating sites to find a new girlfriend to take the place of his current girlfriend before a breakup can be obtained by either of them. His favorite website is name Backdoor Broads and his profile has already gotten a couple dozen likes. He is in the process of setting up meetings with several of the candidates to see which one is the best fit.

As of press time is was learned that Mr. Cummings' girlfriend, Sally Besman, had just found a replacement for her current boyfriend at a rival dating website.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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