Written by Jaki Treehorn
Rating:
Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Federal Reserve

Wednesday, 23 November 2016

Washington - In testimony before the Joint Economic Committee of Congress, Fed Chief Janet Yellen reported that the Federal Reserve Board had voted 8-4 not to raise interest rates, keeping them near zero.

"The situation with Kanye West, first suffering a meltdown at a concert in Sacramento and then checking into the hospital in Los Angeles, has introduced some uncertainty with respect to monetary policy and market stability", explained the Fed Chairman. The economy, while on a steady recovery for the past eight years, remains somewhat fragile, and inflation, using the Federal Reserve's favorite measurement known as the Implicit Consumption Deflated Price Index (ICDPI) which eliminates food, energy, healthcare, housing and anything else that goes up in price, remains below 2%.

Despite the precarious situation for the economy and markets, the stock market reacted by closing at an all time high, with the Dow Jones Industrial Average closing above 19,000.

Make Jaki Treehorn's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 1?

4 12 3 15
61 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more