Swanton, VT - Apparently terrified by the prospect of America's restored greatness, a group of Vermont deer made a failed attempt to cross the Canadian border Wednesday. The trespassers have been captured and taken into custody, and are currently awaiting trial at a local zoo.
"We may be whitetails, but we're not white nationalists," the leader of the group explained. "So as soon as the reality of this election kicked in, we ran like there's no tomorrow. Which, you know, might as well be true for this country."
According to U.S. Border Patrol, there has been increased wildlife activity along the U.S. - Canada border ever since it became known that the Republican candidate won in major battleground states of Ohio, Florida, and North Carolina.
"We've spotted flocks of wild geese headed towards Montreal, which is odd, considering they normally migrate from Canada for the winter, not to it," says local ornithologist Marisa Frea. "We are still investigating the phenomenon, but it sure looks like this sudden change in the migratory patterns is caused by the results of utmost stupidity, demonstrated by American voters yesterday."