Written by Keith Shirey
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Tuesday, 1 November 2016

image for Trump Says Clinton Gave Military Secrets To Russians

Donald Trump at a rally today accused Hillary Clinton of giving military secrets to the Russians. "On her computer that the Russians hacked are plans for The Modular Advanced Armed Robotic System (MAARS), stealth tanks, The XM2010 machine gun, and The highly secret XM25 Counter Defilade Target Engagement (CDTE) System.

"She is just so careless. She has put American's military defenses in jeopardy by allowing her aides Huma Abedin and Donna Brazille's computers to contain e-mails with these secrets that were hacked by the Russians. This is why I must be elected to that I can talk my best friend and role model out of using them against the United States," stated Trump to unrestrained roars of approval from the seedy, white uneducated mob at the rally.

When reporters asked Trump what evidence he had for this accusation he told them that, "You are obsessed with political correctness and reality. My speaking truth with certitude is more important than facts, you losers. Remember, I know more than the generals and my sources are reliable," said the candidate.

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