Washington D.C. - in a press conference here this morning, Paul Ryan released a video of Trump farting and then bragging about how well he can fart. On the video, the fart can be heard to last for a full nine seconds, at a pitch at least two octaves above middle C. We immediately contacted doctor Hitsay, noted gastroenterologist, for his analysis.
According to Dr. Hitsay, this is no ordinary fart:
"Farting at this high an audio frequency indicates a very rigid posterior posture as well as a diet high in pinto beans. I haven't heard farts like that since returning from Mexico where I treated the famous tightwad, Beano Traficante."
In the press conference, Paul Ryan indicated he was hoping everyone would vote for Hillary so he could become President after Hillary is convicted.