Written by Aspartame Boy
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Saturday, 29 October 2016

image for New video of Trump farting released by Paul Ryan
Beans were found hidden near Donald Trump suggesting he is in the grip of a nasty vice: recreational farting.

Washington D.C. - in a press conference here this morning, Paul Ryan released a video of Trump farting and then bragging about how well he can fart. On the video, the fart can be heard to last for a full nine seconds, at a pitch at least two octaves above middle C. We immediately contacted doctor Hitsay, noted gastroenterologist, for his analysis.

According to Dr. Hitsay, this is no ordinary fart:

"Farting at this high an audio frequency indicates a very rigid posterior posture as well as a diet high in pinto beans. I haven't heard farts like that since returning from Mexico where I treated the famous tightwad, Beano Traficante."

In the press conference, Paul Ryan indicated he was hoping everyone would vote for Hillary so he could become President after Hillary is convicted.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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