Written by joseph k winter
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Thursday, 20 October 2016

image for Both candidates collapse following debate 3 rushed to medical facility
According to witnesses, this shamans figure "lurked" behind the candidates during the debate

Spoof Investigations has just learned that directly following last night's debates the presidential candidates turned pale and in need of emergency services.

FOX News insists the presence of their "shamans" backstage can not be held responsible for what transpired.

This "shamans" individual was on hand only to keep the debate truthful, as a symbolic figure of FOX News values.

But simultaneously it was dark and mysterious, and "a bit frightening," according to some witnesses.

Prior to the televised exchange, this figure cast out a warning to the candidates "not to marinate, obfuscate, nor prevaricate with the truth."

Later, exiting the UNLV auditorium past this shamans, both candidates experienced weakening at the knees, loss of facial color, and the trip to an undisclosed medical facility, sirens screaming through the city.

The candidates were then housed in adjoining rooms through which (as developed) could be heard noises, although there was no contact.

Aides rushed in and out.

The shamans apparently left UNLV shortly after the candidates took ill, according to one witness, but muttering something about the candidates not answering questions properly.

"They turned questions into opportunities for self-advertisement and avoidance," again according to the witness who had overheard this shamans figure.

Ms. Clinton celebrated her pride in The Clinton Foundation instead of answering the question on favors and pay-offs.

Mr. Trump declared all the violated women of the GEP1 (grab 'em by the pussy) revelations were faking and had been put up to it by Ms. Clinton.

Both candidates indicated their problems derive from external persecutions arranged by their opponent.

Psychiatrists at the medical facility are speculating the combination of all this and the presence of this dark, mysterious, and nasty shamans figure, may have brought on after-effects to the candidates.

Mr. Trump was reported unusually quiet in his bed except for some outbursts indicating he was talking or making noises in his sleep.

Ms. Clinton, however, said she heard "Mr. Trump's voice" and thought she was "in hell" during her sleep, not realizing he was next door.

She said Mr. Trump's voice was "groaning" what might have been music,
as with Paranoia runs deep . . .

This sound somehow hypnotized her and she was "even deeper in hell," she said.

Later, all she could think of was that old Buffalo Springfield song:

Paranoia runs deep
Into your life it will creep

There's something happening here
What it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware

I think it's time we stop children
What's that sound
Everybody look what's going down . . .

The candidates were released the next morning and immediately returned to the campaign trail.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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