Written by Frogmarsh Peterson
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Topics: Crime, Congress

Monday, 1 December 2003

image for Bigots protected by new laws from Congress
Pastor Lionel Pendergraft - promoting the values of Christianity

Anti-bigotry and associated violence has been officially recognised as a hate-crime by the U.S. government.

From 00:00am December 2nd any violence against a bigot will be regarded as a hate-crime and offenders punished as so.

Liberals have reacted vehemently protesting against the new law issued by Congress. The Liberal Alliance claims that bigots do not need protecting in the US because they represent the majority and in a lot of cases it is bigots that provoke violence.

Many bigots and right-wing americans protested at the creation of the 'hate-crime' concept when it was used to protect homosexuals and ethnic minorities. Now they are keeping quiet, having apparently developed a change of heart over night.

Pastor Lionel Pendergraft of Freetown, Mississippi, has long been an opponent of the 'hate-crime' legislation. He claimed that it was any God-fearing christian's right to send fairies, jews and the negroes to Hell as quickly as possible. By that of course he meant lynching and parody crucifixions.

When Pastor Lionel was interviewed by The Spoof's Frogmarsh Peterson only six hours after the anti-bigotry hate-crime legislation was passed by congress he had this to say:

"It's about time that's all I can say! Our Jesus loving Republican boys have delivered at last for us real white and christian Americans. The sodomites and the Jews and the Godless darkies, they been attacking us for years with their Devil lovin' liberal agenda." - Pastor Lionel Pendergraft, Freetown, Mississippi.

The recognition of the new anti-bigotry hate-crime is just one of the many changes that are resulting from a big shake up of US politics. President Bush is taking steps to classify anyone that is against the war on terror as an 'evil-doer', 'Rascalist' and 'freedom hater'. It may be the case that such people will be detained without trial under new modifications to the Terrorism Act.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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