Written by Don Grapper
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Monday, 17 October 2016

image for Beauty Queens Defend Trump: "If You Didn't Want To Suck His Dick, You Didn't Have To Enter Contest"
A happy and totally satiated Donald Trump poses with attention seeking beauty queens, all but one of whom sucked his dick

New York, NY - A chorus of former beauty queens in Donald Trump sponsored beauty pageants today held a press conference to address charges of sexual harassment against the Republican Presidential Candidate.

"We are here to say that Donald Trump groped us, applied pressure to our shoulders, and asked us to suck his dick," said Svessna Blohimski, Ms. Sweden, 1999. "And, of course, we did suck it and sucked it hard and raw."

Ms. Blohimski, now a financial analyst with American Funds Emerging Market Funds Group, explained that young, stacked women such as herself "with nice butts" are "little more than vessels for men's lust" into which "the most powerful alpha males expect to pour their love juices." Ms. Blohimski explained that beauty queens suck a lot of dick.

"And I am speaking only of those who literally suck a lot of dick," she said. "The number of people who metaphorically suck cock is infinite - for example, every single so-called journalist here owes their career to a life of big-time dick sucking."

Ms. Blohimski said that the "grasping amoral ethic of the professional classes" makes all of them "whores" whose sole guiding principle in life "is obtaining superior status over their rivals" and "ugly cunt panel discussion type bitches on PBS and CNN" are simply jealous of how much men lust after beauty queens - who are stacked, have nice butts, attractive faces, and are generally "eons" above "merely proficient" at sucking dick.

Other beauty queens present said that Donald Trump told them he "was coming" and after he said it he always did.

"He keeps his promises," said Ms. Austria, now head of a private security firm responsible for keeping three, unidentified North African governments from toppling. "He told me 'oh yeah! I'm gonna come! And I looked up and said 'Vut did jew say-en-zee?" and before I could raise my right arm to block it, my face was soaked in his love snot."

Hillary Clinton went on Twitter and asked "is this the kind of America we want our grandchildren growing up in? #squareshapedschoolmarmsunite".

Trump surrogate Rudy Giuliani tweeted back "IT ALREADY IS YOU DUM BITCH! #chisel#FallofWesternCiviliazation"

Donald Trump would only hypothetically address the allegations of getting his dick willingly sucked by come-greedy contestants who never had an innocent bone in their body . On CNN's "Earnest Hour" with Billionaire Anderson "fag" Cooper" Trump told Cooper the silver spoon in his mouth mama's boy,

"I'll tell you, if I did, well, then my load would have been massive, I can tell you that, epic, biblical vats of jet propelled semen flying out of my making, gigantic dickhole, I assure you, that would be the case, I can guarantee that - truly massive...just like the wall Mexico will fucking build and through which I could still shoot a pin point wad that would fly all the way down to Guatemala, that I can assure you, and I wouldn't even need a vitamin B shot before hand, believe me - that would be the case, if I wanted to, but I don't and I regret being blown so much but I've travelled America and can assure you that the people out there want jobs, from China, and all this 'Trump pushed down on the shoulders of Ms. Alaska in 2004' talk is all lies. Believe me, if I wanted a blow job, I wouldn't need to ask. My dick would do the talking, that I can assure you. "

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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