Written by Amiko Aventurista
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Friday, 7 October 2016

image for Miss Piggy sues Trump for defamation and claims he was a frog until she kissed him and became a prince
Miss Piggy Wants to Cook Trump's Bacon

Muppet character and movie star, Miss Piggy Jamon, will soon file a $380M lawsuit against U.S. Presidential candidate, real estate developer and reality television personality, Donald J. Trump. Amiko Aventurista reports that Missy Piggy has three basis for her law suit.

According to her attorney, Trump defamed Miss Piggy by comparing her to the former Miss Universe, Alicia Machando. "WTF! Even during my cycle when I retain a little water I'm skinnier than Ms. Blimpy. I'd prefer to be compared to Rosie O'Donnell that Alicia. I wear a size 6, okay, maybe 16, but Alicia, now she is a real cow!"

Second, in an explosion accusation, Miss Piggy claims Trump defrauded her from millions of dollars in royalties. And third, Miss Piggy says he broke his promise of marriage.

According to Miss Piggy, Trump was living as a frog at Pet Smart after Ivanka put a curse on him. Ivanka sought revenge after he dumped her for the much younger and more beautiful Marla Maples. Miss Piggy claims she found Trump on sale in the discount bid mumbling something about Make Donald Trump Great Again. He promised to marry her and share his wealth if she would break the curse by kissing him. She did; he skipped town and never paid a penny.

Miss Piggy claims Trump owes her at least $380M and his entire career. She told Amiko "he would still be just a talking frog, probably selling used cars if it wasn't for me. I can't believe this guy. He stiff me just like he did his sub-contractors. He cheated me the same way he did students of Trump University. And he left me at the altar, even after I dyed my hair blonde for him. I'm not falling for that trick again no matter how many times Kermit makes his promises."

Trump released the following statement, "I don't know Miss Piggy, but everyone tells me she is the worst! The absolute worse! Look at that face! She opposes my Muslim ban and wants more immigration from Muslim countries and we all know why. Don't believe her!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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