Written by pinkwalrus
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Friday, 7 October 2016

image for More States Request Trump's Help in Pronunciation
People who can't pronounce their own state

After Donald Trump boldly explained to a reluctant Nevada crowd that they have been pronouncing their state name wrong, multiple other states stampeded to be the next in line to get the presidential candidate's guidance.

Trump explained at a campaign rally in Reno this week that you should say Nevada like "Ne-VAH-da" (rhymes with "Prada"). The audience of residents had clearly been misinformed, as was Nevada Senator Harry Reid. They mistakenly thought the pronunciation was Nev-AD-a (rhymes with "Add A"-nother 20 on black).

Lucky for them, Trump was on hand to clear things up. And he had to work pretty hard to get the crowd to believe him. He was not daunted.

The residents were ultimately thankful.

"I've been saying it wrong my whole life," said Wallace Green of Carson City after the rally. "Who knew?"

Several other states wait in line to get Trump to come and straighten them out.

California - needs training to live with "Cali"

Illinois - needs to accept the "s" at the end

Oregon - needs to embrace "Orygone"

Missouri - needs someone to decide, "ee" or "ah" at the end

Trump will be hard pressed to visit all these states before the November election. Needy cities looking for guidance face disappointment.

"Frisco", "Lou-ee-ville" and New "Or-lee-ans" will just have to wait.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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