Written by mikewadestr
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Thursday, 6 October 2016

image for Kim Kardashian Loses Her Ass In Paris Apartment Robbery
I cannot butt understand why anyone would do this.

In a new shocking revelation, egocentric celebrity, Kim Kardashian did not only lose 12 million dollars worth of jewelry in an apparent brazen apartment robbery but, also, her ass which the thieves absconded with when they removed it from a bathroom door.

Kim Kardashian was not wearing her ass at the time of the break-in which occurred at 9:00 PM at the Upper Class Twit Hotel in which she was renting an apartment. Paris police have sent out a memo stating they will allocate all available resources in order to get to the bottom of the Kim Kardashian robbery.

"I'm just shocked over this whole thing", lamented an exasperated Kim Kardashian. "I had just taken my ass off after I got home and hung it up when the thieves broke into the apartment. I never wear my ass around the house, only in public. It just seems that everyone around is trying to get their hands on my ass and now it has happened. The worst part of the whole thing is my ass was not insured".

Paris Police Sergeant Le Oversight claimed there is something really cheeky about someone stealing another person's ass. He stated of the thieves: "It is pretty much apparent the people who did this are bottom dwellers".

While all of her fans have been supportive of the harrowing incident others, such as the paparazzi are absolutely livid.

"What's the use in taking a picture of Kim Kardashian if her ass is not in the picture", said perturbed paparazzi member Damian Obnoxious. "The only reason we take any pictures of her is because of her ass. I don't think I could recognize her without it".

Another fear of the Kardashian clan is the fact that Kim will soon be the butt of so many late night jokes.

"You know how nasty those late night comedians can be", said Kloe Kardashian. "You can send them a horse and they will make it into an ass".

As of press time Sergeant Le Oversight had some leads but no suspects as of now claiming: "They can run butt they cannot hide".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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