Written by Moe Nightwalker
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Friday, 30 September 2016

image for Trump Takes Day Off After Discovering He's Fat
Trump and Napolean have the same BMI.

Donald Trump is taking a day off the campaign trail to recover after he discovered that he was fat.

Trump has made comments about the weight of Rosie O'Donnell, Miss Universe Alicia Machado, a rally attendee, Chris Christie, and others. Yesterday, he realized that he also had a weight problem. When asked why he didn't know despite his doctor's report that he was borderline obese, Donald said that he is so great that he could never be overweight. It was just his wide shoulders that Gov. Pence compliments.

Several events happened yesterday which lead to the realization of his weight problem. First, he saw a picture from the debate and told his staff that the rigged election and liberal media had made his podium smaller to make him look overweight. The staff was told to order a more slimming podium for the next debate -- maybe one with vertical stripes.

Then he began to prepare for an interview by going to the dry cleaners to get his suit. He yelled at the petite woman behind the counter, "Hey, fatty, can't you get my size 44 pants any faster than that." The employee said, "Size 44! I need to get another employee to lift that much fabric."

The woman told reports, "At that moment, he had a shocked look on his face and then peered down at his stomach. I thought he was about to cry as he ran out of the building yelling to his aide, 'I don't pick up my clothes. You do. You're fired'"

According to sources close to the campaign, Trump then went to his suite. Upon seeing something, he started yelling, "You're fat. I'm fat from hanging around fatties like you." Suddenly, he realized he was looking at himself in the mirror.

He requested that his staff cancel all appointments for the next day so he could negotiate with the fat. He would not deport it to Mexico if it left his body by the next morning.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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