Written by pinkwalrus
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Thursday, 29 September 2016

image for Ms. Piggy Challenges Trump to Work Out and Lose Some Weight
Holding in that gut is hard work

After hearing former Miss Universe Alicia Machado's story of being bullied, insulted, harassed and intimidated by current presidential candidate Donald Trump while Miss Universe, Ms. Piggy hits the warpath.

"Who does he think he is? Just look at him. He's not god's gift to women."

In particular, Ms. Piggy takes issue with Trump using her name as a supposed insult.

"He called her Miss Piggy like that was somehow a bad thing. Mr. Trump, I've won more beauty contests then you have been anywhere near. Show some respect for these ham hocks buddy."

Ms. Piggy taunts Mr. Trump to get in better shape himself.

"All eyes are on you right now Trumpkins sweetie. What better time to suck in that gut and get your own hulking bod to the gym."

Piggy dares Trump to do what he had prescribed for Machado.

"Any time, any day you want I'll meet you there. We'll have a nice friendly little workout at the gym Trumpie boy. With a roomful of reporters waiting to cheer you on."

"We might as well work on your posture while we're at it. Looking a little slouchy."

"And we'll have to tackle that diet too. All eyes spy those fries on your thighs, big boy."

Mumbling off the camera Piggy admitted what she really itched to do was a swift karate chop.

"What this guy could really use is one rock-solid HIIIGH YAH."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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