New York - Donald J. Trump released on Wednesday the results from his most recent physical examination, revealing that he is overweight, takes a statin for cholesterol, and is an asshole.
Although Mr. Trump's weight has been a source of debate, with estimates ranging from 236 to 267 pounds, as well as the severity of his cholesterol, with most believing that he has been maintaining numbers at borderline levels, there is little argument from any political party that Mr. Trump suffers from being an asshole.
Said Dr. Osmont Messier, Director of Health Services at Harfold State College, "You can lose some weight. You can eat healthy foods and exercise to bring down that cholesterol.
"But just like there's no pill to cure ugly, once an asshole, always an asshole."