Written by joseph k winter
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Thursday, 8 September 2016

image for New bite-works animal to use on Pipelinestan protesters due out soon
"Uncle Sam" replied "no comment" on learning he is prototype for the new bite-works program

Last Saturday at Standing Rock on a Sioux Indian Reservation along the Cannonball and Missouri Rivers, bite-works style attack dogs were used against protesters.

Security guards for the Dakota Access Pipeline Company felt obliged to utilize their bite-works trained dogs, which caused mayhem including biting protesters.

The Native Indians were protesting violation of their burial grounds and threats to river water by construction of another pipeline across the country.

The protesters were holding signs and singing.

As reports on this event spread rapidly, a new company emerged, headed by Mr. Procene Fracklin and his son Ubiquitous (aka "Ubi") Fracklin.

Mr. Fracklin and his son are CEO's of the company DetailOnsetsNowToday Incorporated (DONT Inc).

DONT specializes in crowd-control related to eminent domain projects, wherein public lands, as with Indian Reservations, can be seized "for public purposes" such as pipelines and related projects.

Mr. "Ubi" Fracklin indicated that an exciting new and superior bite-works animal will be introduced by his company immediately.

"We are seeking endorsement by the Republican candidate for president on this," Mr. Fracklin said, "and feel confident he will be on board."

The new animal is modeled after the American eagle named "Uncle Sam," 27 years old, which Mr. Trump had personal experience with in a photo shoot some months ago.

A you-tube video of this incident is available on the Web, and is easily found under a search for "Trump and American eagle."

Mr. Trump had some difficulties with "Uncle Sam" when the eagle mussed his hair and pecked at him as he reached too near, and into the bird's territory.

That is, "Uncle Sam" the eagle right then showed strong bite-works potential with irritable snapping, quick and vicious, and Mr. Trump was forced to flinch away in some alarm.

But from that experience Mr. Trump has confided he would love to have this guard animal on his arm during his upcoming presidency, particularly when addressing foreign leaders.

According to an anonymous spokesperson within the Trump camp, "Having the animal situated on his arm or shoulder would of course require that it restrain from messing with Mr. Trump's hair."

Resonance with the national symbol in the American eagle adds power to the luster of this attack animal, as it protects against unsavory protesters seeking restraints and limitations on what land can be grabbed up in quest of the dollar.

Mr. Obama has responded to the Sioux Reservation disturbance with, "Of course we Americans honor our heritage in the Native peoples and first residents of this great country, and it is unfortunate that, at times, they must make way for modern life and progress."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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