Written by thomas o'hanlon
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Topics: Terrorism, New York

Sunday, 4 September 2016

image for Man shouts "yahtzee" at inappropriate time
heroic Rosa Gomez

Service on the IRT 1 line was disrupted for nearly an hour today as police and their k9 partners searched for an elusive figure accused of yelling "Yahtzee" with no evidence of actually playing the game while traveling on a northbound Broadway local.

Rosa Gomez, a frightened passenger in the car said "there was no dice, no cup, no tiny pencil, but there he stood not 5 feet from me yelling "Yahtzee" that's when I stood up and pulled the emergency break".

As the train came to a screeching halt beneath Washington Heights, several passengers lunged for the perpetrator but he slithered away and climbed through an open window and out into the dark tunnel.

Max Garbo, a communications repair technician on his way home from work lunged for the suspect and came face to face with him "He had the eyes of Satan himself', said the visibly shaken Garbo. "I had him, dammit I had him"

Mayor DE Blasio at an impromptu briefing at Gracie mansion said " I can promise the citizens of this city that this man shall be apprehended" The mayor went on to advise that "there is also a report of a copycat shouter on a bus on Fordham road in the Bronx. However," he continued "in this case the suspect shouted "Bingo" but was immediately jumped and wrestled to the ground and held by passengers until police arrived. This man had the eyes of a 'hungry Billy goat' according to forensics report so has been ruled out as the Yahtzee yeller"

Also, police have reported the arrest of a man in the lobby of the Empire State building who was overheard by pedestrians planning to shout Yahtzee. Arresting officer said the man had the "eyes of a lunatic" and also has been ruled out as the Yahtzee yeller.

The mayor, when asked what level of police action has been advised said "We are still assessing today's event and cannot conclusively state whether it is a mid-level hanky panky or major Shenanigan"

In the meantime, police are combing the city looking for a man with the eyes of the devil himself.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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