Written by Mike Peril
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Saturday, 13 August 2016

image for Chris Christie Scales Trump Tower with Toilet Plungers Begging for Meeting
Christie's YouTube Video has Exceeded the Popularity of Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run"

New York City, NY - NJ Governor Chris Christie was reportedly seen scaling Trump Tower using two toilet bowl plungers and a rope to try to secure a meeting with Donald J. Trump. Gov. Christie climbed to the second floor of the famous glass tower only to fall to the sidewalk. He was carrying a backpack with a pillow in it which cushioned his fall.

Gov. Christie refused medical or psychiatric treatment, but was taken away screaming, "Please, please, tell them my name is Steve!"

Reporters located a YouTube video which Gov. Christie seems to have uploaded a day before the incident. The video shows Gov. Christie, who appears to be homeless wearing a torn hoodie, seeking a meeting with Mr. Trump. While the purpose of the meeting was not known, it was reported that Mr. Christie sought a bigger role in the Trump campaign, including a possible role in the presidential debates. He mentioned that his name was "Steve".

Gov. Christie stated in the video that "Mr. Christie" was willing to play the role of Hillary Clinton in mock debates with Mr. Trump, and that "Mr. Christie would even wear pink lipstick and a pantsuit."

Reporters contacted Gov. Christie's wife, Mary Pat Christie. "Can you hear my eyes roll?" she said, "After being passed up for VP, he desparately seeks attention."

It has not been a good week for the governor. This week staff members accused Gov. Christie of lying about Bridgegate, where Gov. Christie's staffers orchestrated a bridge traffic jam over several days. The traffic jam was in retaliation against the mayor of Fort Lee, New Jersey for failing to endorse the governor in his reelection campaign.

One NJ town mayor who governs right near the George Washington Bridge noted that Gov. Christie has now left a stain on both the State of New Jersey and Trump Tower.

"He's just an embarrassment, a bully, and such a loosa," said the local mayor who refused to give out his name for fear of further retribution.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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