Written by Philip J. Moss
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Topics: Donald Trump

Saturday, 6 August 2016

Associated Press, June 17, 2032: An autopsy of the real estate mogul and former presidential candidate revealed that he had suffered from a growth on the cerebral cortex that impaired his ability to self-censor, increased his impulsiveness and limited his attention span.

"The tumor was slow growing," said state pathologist Grind M. Upp, "and it is hard to say how it would affected him in office, if he had won the election. But it certainly could have resulted in him pushing The Big Red Button." The autopsy also revealed that Trump suffered from Craniorectal Inversion, Acute Exacerbation of Chronic Nonsense, Globus Stupidicus, Microdeckia and Whinorrhea.

Several groups have expressed interest in acquiring samples of Trump's brain tissue, including the Society for Advancing Research Into Really Stupid People, the Institute for Proving that the American Voter is Really Dumb, and the Conclave of Big Shots With Small Hands.

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