BILLINGSGATE POST: In an attempt to woo undecided Millennial voters, Hillary Clinton yesterday went against traditional Democratic values to reveal what a casual observer might suggest is a tattoo of the business end of a chicken's alimentary canal.
While campaigning in Rhode Island, whose state bird is the eponymous Rhode Island Red Hen, the usually reserved former Secretary of State and First Lady, yielding to calls from the raucous, chicken loving crowd to, "Take it off, Hillary," pulled down the bottom half of her fashionable pantsuit to reveal what appeared to be a tattoo of a chicken butt. Located where most homo sapiens might have a belly button, her tattoo, likewise, was centered approximately six inches above her mons pubis and directly below her sagging breasts.
Seeing this for the very first time, the frenzied spectators squawked and crowed:
Cock-a-doodle-doo, that's my old hen
She lays eggs the best she kin.
Sometimes nine, sometimes ten
Cock-a-doodle-doo, that's my old hen.
While I'm in here hatching white and brown,
He's (Bill) out there scratching around the town.
I ain't gonna take it sitting down.
"THANK YOU! THANK YOU!"
Well, the Donald wasn't about to take it sitting down either. In an interview with George Staphylococcus Sunday, he responded:
"George, when she pulled down her pantsuit, I didn't know what to expect. You've heard the rumors, of course. Quite frankly, I wouldn't put anything past Crooked Hillary. I haven't seen the tattoo close up. But from here, it looked like a chicken butt.
To me, it's just another example of her pandering to local interests. It will be interesting to see what she does when she goes to Iowa, where I understand they raise a lot of hogs. A chicken's butt is one thing. But a hog's ass would be quite a sight."