Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: Cannabis, Old People

Monday, 25 July 2016

In a Mayo Clinic study of one hundred elderly pot smokers there was one revelation that surprised and stunned the small staff that conducted the study. The participants in the study were all volunteers, some of whom regularly smoked and a few who joined the study because they had heard the claims by the government seventy years ago that the "devils weed" could turn you into a maniacal sex fiend! These few were the only participants who were disappointed in the outcome. All were 80+ years old.

Most of those in the study agreed that their experience was positive claiming a certain degree of euphoria while smoking. Many felt some degree of relief from various physical ailments. All agreed that the name of the study applied to them on a daily basis..."Everything hurts!"

It was in one of the last and final interviews that the startling discovery was revealed. One of the standard questions: "Does pot help your pain and discomfort?" It was then that the 85 year old man replied and the world stood still for the two researchers.

The elderly man replied: "I always thought it made me feel better. I thought the aches and pains were better. But the other night I had this realization and now I know it's true: Pot doesn't really make me feel better," he paused, "it makes feel that I don't give a shit that I feel bad!"

The two research doctors gasped in amazement. One looked at the other and said, "Holy shit! The Holy Grail! We have just won the Nobel Piece Prize!"

The other replied, "Or became millionaires! We need to bogart this wonderful old Bastard until we decide!"

Although the results were leaked by a staff member at the clinic, it has been announced that results of the study are being held until further notice.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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