Donald Trump notified the media today that he intends to demand that Hillary Clinton withdraw from the Presidential campaign for her role in the "totally bad thing" that Barack and Michelle Obama did in 2008 when they shamelessly plagiarized Melania's 2016 speech. In contrast to previous unsubstantiated claims, he was able to provide video footage of Mrs. Obama quoting whole sections from his wife's speech at the 2008 Democratic National Convention.
"We have indisputable proof," Trump roared, "that Obama was given access to unsanctioned time travel technology provided to him by -- and it's not me saying this, its people telling me this -- his Muslim overlords." Trump further bellowed that it was "unconscionable that a foreigner steal such well-written and totally original words from a natural-born American like Melania."
In the meantime, the FBI has promised a full investigation to determine which method of time travel was utilized in the crime perpetrated by the Obama and Clinton cartels. So far, the TARDIS has been accounted for, as well as the Dr. Emmett Brown DeLorean. Authorities have not ruled out faster-than-light travel around the Earth or sun, as these are well-known Liberal tactics -- utilized by both James T. Kirk, the eco-terrorist who perpetrated the theft of Republican whales in 1986, and Kal-El of Krypton, the left-wing radical who attempted to interfere with the 2nd Amendment in 1987 when he confiscated nuclear weapons from law-abiding citizens, blaming his actions on well-respected businessman and potential Presidential candidate, Lex Luthor. At the time, Donald Trump was quoted as saying, "Superman's not a hero. He's a hero because his planet blew up. I like people who's planets didn't blow up."