Written by Xavier Fairbanks
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Tuesday, 12 July 2016

image for Popcorn Food Truck Causes Riot at Misophonia Convention

Every year providers and patients from around the world travel to a central location to attend the annual Misophonia Convention. Misophonia is a disorder of the autonomous nervous system in which particular patterned sounds are incorrectly processed and trigger anger, rage, and many other unpleasant negative emotions in a fight or flight response.

At the conclusion of this year's convention, many people left with smiles on their faces knowing that they could better understand the affliction they suffer from. However, that peace of mind was soon shattered by what some describe as, "a reckless terrorist with no regard for mankind."

Jerry Smith, a popular local food truck vendor, set up shop outside the convention awaiting thousands of potential customers exiting the arena. Moments before the doors opened, a young gentleman stopped at his truck and purchased a bag of popcorn. Unfortunately, there was nothing that could help the unsuspecting two.

A massive crowd began to swarm the truck looking for the source of the crunching, squeaking popcorn.

"They just attacked like a bunch of piranha! I thought they were just hungry so I started tossing food for them!" Said Smith.

The scene continued to escalate as the convention members began burning effigies of popcorn at the steak, even defacing the signs on the food truck.

"We have seen plenty of riots in our day, but never one like this." said Police Chief Salmonella.

"We reacted a quickly as possible. Nothing was working. Every time an officer shouted or got near the crowds, they fiercely attacked. It was like a scene right out of the Walking Dead.
As the crowds, arms outstretched, made their way for defenseless food truck owner, Jerry Smith, all hope seemed lost.

It was then that one man's heroic actions would make him a historical hero for generations to come. Dr. Martin Frasier contacted police headquarters to help them devise a safe plan to ensure no lives would be in danger. As an esteemed physician treating Misophonia patients for many years, this would prove to be one of his most well known efforts.

"I called them quickly when I saw the riots on the news. Everyone was everywhere! It was utter anarchy. It was then that I saw the popcorn effigies being burned. These people weren't mad, they were enraged by a common complication called Misophonia" Dr. Martin Fraiser said.

Dr. Frasier then made his way down to the scene escorted by a police motorcade. Once there, the scene changed drastically. First responders began to retreat while other members of law enforcement began putting up large speaker towers all over the area. Within seconds, the once ravenous crowd would return to their normal states as if nothing had ever happened at all.

"It's like an enormous hearing aid." Dr Fraiser explained. "It produces a specific frequency of white or pink noise that soothes the autonomous nervous system, removing the fight or flight response and allowing the sufferers of the disease to once again carry on about their lives."

That was just what happened when police began playing the noise frequencies. The crowd eventually dissipated and everyone returned home unharmed and a little more understanding that evening.
"I was lucky that the only casualty was the truck and the popcorn. I didn't even realize it was such a big deal until I saw them coming for me. That's when it hit me, but it was far too late then, says Smith."

While Jerry Smith remains saddened by the loss of his beloved food truck, he now understands the importance of discerning where to place his mobile business so that his safety and that of others is top priority.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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